The Untold Truth Of St. Nicholas

Publish date: 2024-05-04

St. Nicholas is associated with a number of stories about sailors, ultimately leading to his becoming the patron of sailors as one of his main things. One such story involves him resurrecting a sailor from the dead who died during a storm on his trip to the Holy Land, but the more impressive feat involves Nicholas saving a shipload of dudes without even being physically present.

At the famous and actually completely historical Council of Nicea, Nicholas fell asleep during dinner. In a dream, he heard voices calling his name for help. So without even waking up, Nicholas astral-projected like Dr. Strange, leaving his physical body behind and sending his spirit hundreds of miles away to the middle of the sea where he found a bunch of sailors struggling to stay afloat after a storm had wrecked their ship. Nicholas spread his ghost hands over the water and calmed the sea, saving the lives of the grateful sailors before astral-projecting back to his body, which was probably face-down asleep in a pile of larks' tongues or whatever they were eating.

When the other bishops were like, "Hey, man, where'd you go?" Nicholas replied, "A ship and all its sailors were saved." They took this as a metaphor in which the church was the ship and the sailors its parishioners, and so they all nodded like, "This Nicholas dude is very deep."

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